Pitiful, Painful, Etc.

I mean, did the Mets even know there was a game yesterday?

In a pitiful, painful performance, the Mets might have actually mustered the 7 softest hits of all time last night. Think about it: was there a single moment of honest-to-goodness excitement all game?

I said it yesterday, sometimes you watch a team swing it and wonder how they ever score a run. Last night was one of those games. Six runs or not, Wednesday's game was one of those games too.

The good news is that I do expect the Mets' offense to score runs this season, particularly when Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran are back. If you can bear it, allow yourself to think about how those two guys will change this lineup. I guess Reyes will be back soon enough (tomorrow from the sound of it), but Beltran, who knows?

Anyway, I suppose Jon Not Johan had a nice go of it last night, which was good to see. Little Miss Citi and I were pleased to coin a new nickname for Jeff Francouer, who will henceforth be referred to as "Smilin' Jeff" for his perpetual grin (although "Chips" will always be a favorite for him as well, courtesy of Y2K Godfather Sippy Momo).

And those were the highlights, folks -- 6 innings of 3-run ball from Jon Niese (probably as good an effort a Not Johan will throw all season, save a few exceptions along the way to generate false hope) and a new nickname for Frenchy.

But hope springs eternal this time of year, so we soldier on with whatever optimism we can muster. Or maybe that hope has nothing to do with the calendar and everything to do with the schedule, which has the lowly Nats coming to town for a three-game set. I keep reading about how these ain't your grandma's Nationals anymore, so maybe I should show more respect.

In the end, the Nationals may have nothing to do with it; we keep hitting like we've been the past two games, we're gonna be looking up at the Nats and everyone else in the division for a long time to come.

- A.F.O.M.G.