70: Lost in Translation

(This is the latest installment in an ongoing series at Y2K focusing on topics raised in Matthew Silverman's "100 Things Mets Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die". Today's installment? Number 70: Lost in Translation.)

Why 70? Because of the sweet pic of Kazuo.

On a scale of 1-to-10, necessity of knowing or doing before you die? 3.

Ah, Japan. Land of the Rising Sun. Visitors of misery upon millions in the Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere days. Makers of sweet TV shows and videogames.

Yes, the Japanese are an industrious bunch, but as the old Japanese proverb dictates, we must all know our limits. And so it is for the Japanese, who, for all their admirable attributes, are completely inept when donning a Mets uniform.

As specified above, "Lost in Translation" does not shine a light on an especially essential piece of Mets history, but it's a fun one in its way. Indeed, the Japanese imports we've brought in over the years are kind of a fitting analogue to much of Mets history -- high priced, highly anticipated, massively disappointing.

None were more disappointing, of course, than our old friend Kaz Matsui. "Kaz Matsui's travails in New York are well documented--just typing his name makes one's ears ring with boos--and his two-plus years at Shea provided no hint of the glory his bat and glove would provide for the 2007 Rockies" (Silverman, 175).

Perhaps Kaz's greatest sin was his inability to get down with the "Our Team, Our Time" vibe of the 2006 Mets. In an otherwise idyllic early season, Kaz was his usual, ineffective Mets-self, and the boo birds had a field day. The team could hardly lose, but sure enough every time No. 25 would step to the plate, the crowd would let him hear it.

There's no losing boos in translation, either for the player on the field or the fan in the stands. Kaz was the single greatest oppressor of that team's feel-good spirit, and ultimately he was traded for a bag of balls and Eli Marrero.

* * * * *

Now, there's an entire segment of of Silverman's chapter devoted to Mets greats who have gone to play in Japan, but I'm far less interested in them. To close out this recap, let's do a word/phrase/story association exercise with the 8 native Japanese who have played for the Mets (with years on the team noted).

Kaz Ishii (2005): Infuriating; 2005 was The Year!

Takashi Kashiwada (1997): Loved this name. Like if mine were AFOMG OMGada

Satoru Komiyama (2002): Pass.

Kaz Matsui (2004-2006): Say what you want about him, dude could rake on Opening Day.

Hideo Nomo (1998): Dude, we got Nomo! This is The Year!

Tsuyoshi Shinjo (2001, 2003): His 20-foot bat toss after launching a dinger in the Mets' Home Opener against the Braves (a blowout, mind you) is perhaps the most amusing moment in recent on-field Mets history. His orange wristbands belong in the Mets' memorabilia hall at Citi Field (in the small corner of the Dodgers' memorabilia hall).

Shingo Takatsu (2005): Takatswho?

Masato Yoshii (1998-1999): If I ever start another blog, I'm going to name it "Put in Yoshii!!" Scanning the internets for this timeless quote, I see someone had the idea first. That's bullshit man!

Anyway, I'll let that blog, which died in 2007, tell it: "Late in the 1999 baseball season, Mets fifth starter Masato Yoshii was asked what he would do if he was left off of the Mets' postseason roster, to which he responded, 'I'll be in the stands, eating a hot dog, drinking a beer, and yelling 'Put in Yoshii!!'"

You know, I wouldn't trade all the misbegotten Japanese Mets if it meant never having that one quote.

- A.F.O.M.G.